


Journal 2

by astraplain



Series: Journal [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 19:39:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6252943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astraplain/pseuds/astraplain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt finds Adam's journal</p>
            </blockquote>





	Journal 2

“Kurt? Did you find my carryall?” Adam stopped in the doorway at the unexpected sight of Kurt perched on the edge of their bed, one of Adam’s old journals open in his hand and a stricken expression on his face. It took a few seconds for Adam to remember what was in that particular journal, long enough for him to reach Kurt.

“Surely my writing isn’t that bad?” Adam teased lightly. He hesitated a moment before sitting down beside Kurt and wrapping and arm around Kurt’s waist. Kurt resisted the gentle invitation to lean closer.

From where Adam was sitting he could see the pages he’d painstakingly colored black, leaving only his messy scrawl untouched. Every other space on the page was darkened, not in anger, but in regret for the relationship he’d thought was finished.

“It’s not your best work,” Kurt commented, his voice wobbly. The sound made Adam’s chest tighten. He searched for the right words, remembering the promise he’d made to himself all those months ago as he filled in the spaces between his written words. It was a promise that, if he was given a second chance, Adam would do whatever he could to avoid hurting this brave and tender-hearted man.

“That took months, you know, coloring all that in.” Adam smiled at him own foolishness. “Quite the gloomy one I was back then. Traded in the beanie for a black beret and fancied myself a beatnik.” He laughed at Kurt’s expression, although Adam wasn’t sure which part of that statement earned it - most likely the beret. “Wore my hair tied back but didn’t do the turtleneck, just a black t-shirt and the dark jeans. Didn’t look that much different actually, except for the hat. The Apples thought I was prepping for an audition.”

“You don’t still have the beret?” Kurt asked, looking around as if he’d see it now that he knew to look for it.

“Gave it to Peter, who looks miles better in it than I ever did,” Adam assured Kurt. “The old beanies were standoffish at first but I eventually won back their affection.”

“Never take your accessories for granted,” Kurt reminded him, a hint of his smile returning until he looked down at the journal again. “So is that why…”

“Partly,” Adam shrugged it off lightly, but his actions had felt anything but light when he and Kurt had broken up.

There was a long, not completely comfortable silence between then before Adam closed his eyes and let himself lean on Kurt a little.

“The truth is…. I had this ridiculous notion that if I could express how I felt about you in words - that I could somehow figure out all the pieces I hadn’t discovered yet, like reading between the lines.” Adam laughed at his folly, but it wasn’t a carefree or happy sound. “When we parted…. ” He touched the colored-in portion of the page. “This was everything that I thought I’d lost.” Adam sat up, turning to look at Kurt. “I thought, if I marked everything I’d missed, I’d learn where we’d gone wrong. Be ready in case I was lucky enough to get a second chance.”

“Is that why you waited to contact me?” Kurt asked, his eyes soft and thoughtful as he paged through the book to the last page. “You had to finish this first?”

“It’s true,” Adam confessed.

“It wasn’t because you were angry with me?” Kurt bent his head a little, not meeting Adam’s gaze.

“I was a little angry,” Adam said, tightening his hold at Kurt’s side to give him a gentle hug. “At you. At myself. It didn’t last long. Mostly I was just mopey and annoying to my friends. I’d never fallen so hard or fast before.” He reached over and took the journal, reading a few lines before wrinkling his nose. “Wish I could have at least gotten some useful lyrics out of it.”

“Rhyming ‘Kurt’ with 'blurt’ isn’t your best work,” Kurt agreed.

“Sadly, it’s about par for this,” Adam closed the book with a decisive snap and tossed it toward the trashcan.

“Don’t,” Kurt objected as he retrieved the little journal. “It’s the thought that counts.”

“Pages of sappy and mope?”

“Sap isn’t always bad, and the mope was well earned, I wasn’t exactly fair to you back then.” Kurt stood in front of Adam, clutching the journal. He opened it again and bowed his head over it before admitting, “I thought this was your way of…. exorcising me,”

“You aren’t a ghost, love,”

“More like a bad penny?” Kurt asked, his lips curving into a teasing smile as he looked up. “Always turning up when you least expect it.”

“I contacted you first,” Adam reminded him. “Coffee with a side of awkward.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Kurt insisted, although they both knew how bad it had been. Their second attempt had traded coffee for alcohol and had been much less stilted. No matter how much they wanted each other and regretted their time apart, neither one of them had been willing to rush back into a relationship. Adam’s own caution had done as much to win Kurt over as his efforts to avoid repeating things they’d done before.

“No, it wasn’t that bad,” Adam agreed, taking the journal and setting it down on the bed before pulling Kurt into an embrace. He kissed him lightly before pulling back far enough to look into Kurt’s eyes. “I can’t guarantee the quality of my writing, but I can promise that I’ll never stop being inspired by you.”

“Never?” Kurt teased. “Not even when you run out of things to rhyme with my name?”

“Won’t happen,” Adam assured him. “There’s dozens I haven’t used yet.” he slid his hands downward from Kurt’s back to his waist and lower as he talked “Like inert, dirt, or…” His hands stilled. “Pert.”

The journal fell to the floor, forgotten, as Kurt smacked Adam with his own beanie, then kissed him better right after.

 

::end::


End file.
